My Kid Circus

Yesterday we took a bullet train from Beijing to Taiyuan.  We were able to be with Kai all morning for the long drive to the train station, the wait for our train, and the 3 hour train ride.  He is being escorted by a woman named Maria from Little Flower who he obviously has a close bond with.  I feel so reassured having Maria around because she translates very well.  She told me that all of Kai’s foster family cried as they said goodbye.

Kai was very confused.  She continues to explain to him what is happening, but obviously it is something that a 2 year old cannot grasp.  He told Maria several times on the train that he is missed his foster parents.  It breaks my heart that 1) he is going to have to go through these feelings and 2) I am not going to be able to respond to him with the same reassuring words that Maria can.  I didn’t worry too much before we came about the language barrier, but now that I know how verbal he is I can only imagine how lonely and frustrated that he will feel not having someone who understands him.  We will do the best that we can, and I pray that he will at least be able to know how much we already love him.

We are heading to the Civil Affairs office in about 20 minutes where he will finally be handed over to us, and we will be his forever family!

Yesterday we spend another very full day in Beijing.

We spent the morning again with Kai in his foster home.  We spent the time playing with him and getting to know what his life has been for the past year.  He is quick to smile and eager to play.

Jeff is still having to move very slowly.  As soon as he gets close to Kai, Kai starts wimpering about “Daddy with a beard”.  I’m sure that this is something that we will laugh about in years to come, but for right now Kai has a very eager Daddy that he will not let get close to him!We went to lunch with Kai’s entire foster family and with one of the directors of Little Flower, Serena, and her family.  Serena is my friend from my photography class.  She is where I first learned about Little Flower, and she posted the very first picture of Kai that I first fell in love with.

We went to a “hot pot” restaurant where everyone has their own pot, and cooks their own food in front of them.  Very fun! After lunch we went with Kai and his foster mom back to the baby home where he lived for his first year plus at Little Flower so he could say goodbye to all of the ayis (“aunties”) that cared for him.  We walked in and he heard many excited voices saying “Kai Yi!”. This guy is only 2, however, and not really aware of what a huge moment it was to be saying good-bye to all of these people who love him.  He wanted to spend time saying good-bye to the toys he had not played with in a while. 🙂  It was so nice to see how very loved he was from everyone who has known him.

We spent some time with the medical staff getting trained on some of Kai’s medical care. It is a lot to take in, and I definitely still feel scared.  But like anything I know that this will soon be our new normal, and I am confident that we can do this.

We ended our time in Beijing by taking a taxi to see an acrobatics show.  Traffic was so bad that we missed the beginning, but we all really enjoyed it.  We caught a glimpse of our tour guide from our last China trip at the same show, which was fun.  The smog is so intense that we needed to wear masks even inside the taxi.  I cannot imagine living in that kind of air all the time.  It truly looks like an incredibly foggy day, and it gets worse as the day goes on.  We were absolutely exhausted by the time we got in the taxi, as you can see. 🙂

Today we get on a train to head to the city of Taiyuan, where Kai was born to complete the actual adoption.  We are ready for the next leg of this journey!

We knew that someone from Little Flower would be picking us up from our hotel at 9:15 am.  We didn’t realize that Kai would be there, along with his foster mother and foster sister.  Luckily it was a surprise that we were ready for, just in case, and we were prepared with the camera.

He was understandably apprehensive, of course.  But there are no words to explain what it felt like to take him into my arms for the first time. We rode with Kai back to his foster home.  He became more confident in his familiar setting, and these brothers quickly began to bond. His foster mother made lunch for us all.  It was clear that Kai is used to being the center of attention, and he certainly hammed it up for us.

We were warned that Kai is very scared of “beards”.  This seems to mean that he is actually afraid of men.  He had very little interaction with men before he moved into this foster home with this foster dad (who he is clearly attached to).  So, Jeff is going to have to move a little slower with Kai than he would like.  I have a feeling when we get him alone though that it isn’t going to take him long to become best buddies with his new daddy.

So, our first day is complete.  Many of my initial nerves have faded, but new ones have also emerged.  Bringing home a 2 1/2 year old boy who has been the total center of attention is going to be a very different ball game than bringing home our 1 1/2 year old Hannah, who had never had enough attention.  I know that he is going to have to grieve, and I expect that it is going to be really hard.We are ready though.  Our hearts have begun to be knitted together into a true forever family.  It will take some time, but we are definitely on our way!

We are now 30 minutes away from being picked up go to Little Flower.  I am shaking from nerves.  There are really no words to express the emotions that are flying through me as we get ready to meet our son.  It is a moment that is so huge that I can’t fully process it. I have moved into auto-pilot.

10 more minutes!  Presents are packed for all of Kai’s foster siblings and foster parents. Presents are packed for Kai.  Donations are ready for Little Flower.

I can’t believe this is actually happening.  I can remember so well the feelings that went through me when I first saw his gorgeous face.

I remember my apprehension as I tentatively showed Jeff his picture several months later.

I savored every mention of him on the Little Flower blog and facebook page.

I was thrilled when I told my family about him and they encouraged us to go for it.

I was encouraged so many days when my children talked about him with joy and eagerness.

So many months of wishing, hoping, praying.

All coming down to today.

7 minutes now.

Here we go!

We had a wonderful first day in China.  The air is thick with smog, but we still enjoyed our climb on the Great Wall.  It is a challenging climb, with stairs of all varying heights the entire way, but it is an awesome and incredible experience.  So glad I got to share it with some of my favorite guys.

After our Great Wall adventure we were taken to the largest Jade factory in Beijing.  We enjoyed seeing intricate pieces of art and jewelry made out of jade, and we watched some of the artists carefully carving pieces.Tomorrow morning we will go visit Little Flower for the day, and meet our boy.  My stomach has fairly constant butterflies now!