My Kid Circus

We finally made it to Beijing!

The trip was LONG, but altogether smooth, and we were so proud of our guys for hanging in there.  We made it to the hotel at about 9:30 last night, and we were all thankful for the 2 little beds in our room.

Today we are off to the Great Wall!

Here we go!  

We are literally sitting in the airport waiting to board the plane for the first leg in our journey to get our little guy.

Our hearts are full with all of the loving support we have had over the last few days.  My wonderful friends even surprised me with a “100 Wishes Quilt” for Kai.  I was so touched by all of the loving messages that were sent with all of the carefully chosen fabrics.  It is truly a gift that will be treasured always!

It was the perfect finishing touch for his room.  I can’t wait to have that sweet guy home to see it!

It was a hard goodbye for me with these sweet girls.  They will be in wonderful, loving hands, but oh my heart is aching. This is the paper chain that I made for them to be able to count down the days until we get home.  I can’t wait for those hugs!

Next post will be from Beijing, China!

4 days.  We leave for China in 4 days!!  The chart is complete, the tickets are booked, the piles of things to pack are everywhere.  I think this is really going to happen.

To be honest, I’m an emotional mess.  I can go from feeling incredible excitement to being curled up in tears in a matter of moments.  It is all so real.  And so big.

I can’t wait to meet our new little guy.  I’m terrified to meet our new little guy.  I’m asking whether I can do this.  I feel confident that I can do this.  I’m ready to jump on that plane. I’m terrified to get on that plane.  I’m so excited to spend the next couple of weeks with all of my special guys.  I’m broken hearted about leaving my precious girls.

Yep, I’m all over the place.  That is me.  My husband once said to me, “You have a lot of feelings.”  It has since become a joke between us because yes, I do have a lot of feelings. He can have a hard time keeping up.

What I do know is that for the last 10 years we have been building our family.  In a very short time that era of our life will be over, and we will be focused solely on raising our family.  It is a bittersweet feeling to know that that time of our life is over.  Mostly sweet I think.

This little guy will soon be Kai.  Our youngest son. A beautiful grandson. A spunky little brother.  A sweet cousin.  An adorable nephew.  He has so many people eager and ready to love on him.

Bring on this next adventure!

You might remember our adoption process chart:

We are officially on step 11.  In 2 days, however we will quickly move through step 12, and we will be waiting for our Travel Approval. That is the FINAL paperwork hurtle in this adoption before we can get on a plane to China.

It is coming soon!  I believe that we will be heading to China in 4 to 5 weeks.  (Hoping for 4, but the way these things work it is always best to be prepared that things could take longer).

We are getting ready.  Room rearranging is almost done (pics coming soon!).  We got our shots and prescriptions in hand.  Everything for our little guy is already stacked and ready to go in a suitcase.  Everyone is excited.

This trip is going to be a bit different than our last one.  A few weeks ago we found out more details about Kai’s current medical needs.  Nothing came as a surprise, exactly, but I think that I had been holding out hope that we would find out that his needs were not as severe as they could be.  After all we had a wonderful experience with Hannah, who was born with a serious heart condition that has been pretty much a non-issue since we have been home.

Not this time.  The good thing is that we are prepared.  We know in depth details about his medical needs.  We have good doctors lined up at home.  We are going to spend several days at Little Flower in Beijing so that we can learn directly from his caretakers how to do his medical procedures.  We are as prepared as we can be.

Not that this came easy for my heart.  I went through a hard couple of weeks as I came to terms with what this means for Kai, and what this will mean for our family.  I was scared thinking about being a mom spread thin, and wondering how I was going to meet the needs for each of our 5 precious blessings. I cried.  I panicked.

Then I reached out. I told all of our family exactly what to expect.  I shared some of my deepest fears with dear friends.  I talked to our pastor.  And I had a hard conversation with my children.  And an amazing thing happened.  First I had my dear Z, who listened intently to everything that I said and responded with, “He needs us SO badly, Mommy.” His unselfish response was immediately repeated by each of my children.  They helped me to remember that ultimate truth.  Kai does need us.  We are his family.

I also had incredible support and prayers from our precious family and friends. I had support from people who didn’t even know all the details who told me that they were thinking about us and praying for our child. I remembered that we are not in this alone. Not at all.  And although I hate that it will be a long road for our dear boy, I’m not scared any more.

This is the child that I prayed for for almost a year before we even held his file.  This is the child who I cried tears of thanks for when I was told that he could be ours.  This is the child that I have prepared my children’s hearts for. This is the child that God has given to us. I am forever grateful.