Brotherly love

1Sorry this picture is so blurry.  I tried to capture the moment with my phone while not waking them and holding a baby. 🙂  Anyway, they are honestly sound asleep like this.  Even looking at this picture now, I just have to smile.  Watching them love each other is one of the absolute highlights of my life.

It is crazy to me that none of my posts so far have focused on my oldest.  Z is 4 1/2 now, and certainly worthy of some good stories.  Here is one from the other day that follows the “brotherly love” theme…

So, the little guy bit Z.  This is not one of his usual behaviors, but you never can predict with that guy.  At any rate, it hurt, and Z was crying big, pitiful tears.  So, I felt like biting was worthy of a response, and I put him in time out in the pack-n-play in his room.  He then began crying himself.  (He rarely seems to notice when being punished, so I took the tears as a good sign that he was significantly bothered).  I then went back to check on Z.  I began to hug him since his tears were still flowing, but was very surprised when he turned to me with a look of disgust and said, “You made him cry!  You are always doing that!”.  Whoa.  I didn’t know how to respond to this accusation on so many levels.  So, I came back with, “what do you mean?”.  (Since I have trouble even remembering the last time that a punishment caused tears out of him).

He again insisted, “You are always making him cry when you put him in time out!!”  Well, we obviously have to agree to disagree about always making him cry.  So I skip over that part and go back to the mom response, “Biting is not allowed in our family.  He bit you (YOU!), so he therefore is in time out.  It was his decision to bite, and have that consequence.”  This went nowhere with him.  Now we have both boys in tears, and both were directed at Mommy.  Sigh.

I figure this will pass, so I go to let D out of time out and talk to him about what happened.  I then have him apologize to Z about the bite.  Z doesn’t even listen to the apology, but is indignant, saying, “Now  you apologize Mommy.  You APOLOGIZE for making him cry!!”.  Obviously my attempts to empower them with their own behavior leading to consequences has a ways to go.  We all had a group hug, and went on about our day, but he was clearly being more protective of the little guy around me for a while.

In the end, I just had to laugh.  I love that Z takes his role as big brother so seriously, and he loves his brother and sister so much.    When I was pregnant with him,  I hoped so much that he was a boy because I wanted my kids to grow up with a big brother.  He truly is an answer to that prayer. 🙂

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